Growing up Holidays were a big deal. It seemed we were always celebrating. Rather it was a house full of family sitting around the table eating a Thanksgiving feast or Waking up Christmas morning to opening up what Santa brought us. But now having my own little family it seems like holidays are dreadful in a way.
Sitting here on the 4th of July with no family or friends to celebrate with and a child who is terrified of fireworks doesn’t make it feel so joyful like it did before I was married. See my mom married my stepdad on the 4th of July and so we spent most 4ths with my dad growing up. My dad’s family would gather and we would go watch a Dilla’s baseball game and then after the game they would put on a big firework show or sometimes we would stay home and have a cookout and just enjoy fireworks at home.
But the 4th is not the only holiday that seems like we are isolated now, Easter for instance, my son doesn’t understand going hunting for Easter eggs or getting dressed up and going to church, not gonna happen. Then there’s Christmas, now yes we have spent it with family, but what fun is it when your child doesn’t even enjoy opening up presents. What kid doesn’t enjoy opening up presents? Or what about Thanksgiving when you look forward to eating a yummy feast? My son is very picky eater and most of the foods made for the holiday he won’t eat. Or the fact that him sitting at a table is probably not going to happen.
Do I know if it will always be like this? No, but for now it is my reality. I love my son and am very blessed to be his mommy, but growing up thinking about having children did I imagine this reality? No, I imagined getting to watch my child have the experiences I had growing up, celebrating holidays with family and friends. But also just because we might turn down an invite by family and friends doesn’t mean we don’t wish we could join in with the festivities, or that we don’t want to be invited at all.
I just wanted to share that if you and your family are dealing with similar and feeling isolated, you’re not alone. Many families with a child with disabilities deal with it as well. One thing that has helped me is I have joined a wonderful Facebook group where moms who have kids on the spectrum have become one of my biggest supports and let me know I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who is going through what I’m going through and they are there when I need to vent, need support, or even when I have a praise about something my son has done that to others would seem so little but to me and my family is a big deal. Find your tribe and don’t be afraid to share because I guarantee you will meet someone with a similar situation that they are going through or have gone through and will support you in your journey!